Be Still

Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.
Psalms 46:10 (NIV)

It was already September, but the trees on our East Tennessee ridge top still carried the lingering green of late, late summer. A thunderstorm had just blown through and the air was heavy with southern afternoon humidity. I decided to take a walk and grabbed my camera on the way out the door.

I listened to the rocks crunch under my feet as I meandered up the hill toward the barn. Glancing down, wondering if there would be puddles on the country road’s bare spots, I saw this leaf. Alone. Stuck in the gravel.

There was a stillness to that moment that is hard to describe. It was solitary and quiet. But not empty. The wet air was filled with an incredible sense of acknowledgement. Like God was right there with me, silently nodding His head.

I will be turning 50 soon. My hair isn’t really gray, but the few silver strands are multiplying. My mind is fairly sharp, though I seem to often forget where I put my keys. I definitely don’t jog any more. I do enjoy a long, lingering walk. But never before this moment did I really believe that “these are the days I have dreamed of.”

I remember as a little girl dreaming of getting married. As a young bride I dreamed of having children. As a young mother I dreamed of my children becoming strong and accomplished. But I never dreamed of turning 50.

Standing there, looking at that lone red leaf, my dreams grew up. In the silence of my soul, Father opened a veil of hope on the autumn of my life. I see richness and depth and beauty. More time for reflection. Less busyness and bluster. Longer, lazier shadows as evening stretches in. And when cooling winds blow the last crunchy leaves off their branches, I see a strong tree standing in bold silhouette against the blue, wintering sky.

There is something profound about silencing your soul. Simply putting your finger to your lips and shushing yourself. And meaning it.

Some of the most profound events in Biblical history were preceded by deep silence. Abraham standing beneath a starry sky. Moses removing his sandals in front of a burning bush. David choosing five smooth stones from a stream bed. It seems that before the epic faithfulness and power and glory and majesty of the Lord was displayed, the heavens first paused . . . took a deep breath . . . and were silent for a moment.

My life is not as grand or as historic as these Biblical heroes. But their stories of broken dreams, unsure futures, and heroic battles are universal. Abraham was growing old without a son. Moses was banished to the wilderness. David was surrounded by the clamor of war.
I stand on the brink of 50 with my four children no longer home.

Be still.

And know.

He is God.

He will be exalted.

Psalms 46:10-11
Lesa K. Reid